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I have a partner, do I need a doula?

Quick answer to this is, YES. Yes if you have a partner you should still hire doula because not only do we take care of you but we also take care of your partner. It may seem like something simple but one of the biggest things a doula does for the partner is give them a break. We understand that they are not the one in labor and their body isn't going through all the changes but being supportive is exhausting. Most partners don't ever want to leave the mother's side so it can get to the point of where they forget to hydrate, to eat, take a nap or get fresh air. Having a doula there, someone that you trust, have built a relationship with and has birth knowledge can be a big stress reliever. It can make the partner know that even if they need to step out just to be human that the mother will still be properly taken care of.

Another thing is birth is unpredictable right, and as the partner they are depended on to be the person that stays strong no matter the situation but that is a lot easier said then done. I personally have been supporting at a birth where things got really scary and the safest solution for mom and baby was to have a belly birth. The whole time the father remained calm, he knew the right questions to asked, knew how to assure his girlfriend and looking at him you would have thought he had it all together. But then when they brought in the PPE for him to put on his humanity showed. He got really flustered and was confused on what goes where and he just appeared in a way I have never seen him before. During this time they were prepping and cleaning the mom for surgery so I was able to step to the side with him and help him take a couple of breaths then show him how to put everything on. I didn't ask him how he felt or if he needed to talk because I knew he was just say "fine." All he needed was a little help to feel grounded again, after that he was good to go.

I am not saying that I saved the world that night but something as simple as taking care of the birthing team rather than just the person giving birth can make a huge difference. The doctor and nurses were not focused on them because their job is to keep the mother and baby safe. It can be so easy to overlook the partner but as a doula our main priority is the mother and that also means what the mother cares about which is their partner. Not making sure the partner is well can just add more stress to the mother so whatever I have to do to make everyone at ease, as a doula that is what I do.

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